Ramblings cos I can’t sleep
Where do I begin..
When you are in a country where you weren’t brought up in, you really do understand that the smallest things in life do really bring you happiness. I found that just finding familiar food at the supermarket can really be a (big) factor in making your whole day or week. So imagine how much you can get emotionally attached to the people you get to meet.
I consider myself as someone who values people’s company. I don’t take friends for granted.
So meeting up with people while I’m in Korea is literally the one and only thing that I look forward to week in and week out. It’s what I work towards. Knowing in ‘x’ number of days I get to see a certain someone is a motivational factor to keep a smile on my face.
Where am I going with this?
If you’ve been reading any of my long ramblings post (if you’ve read up to here, you probably have), you probably know who mystery girl is.
This is going to sound really corny, cheesy or whatever.. But to her, I might just be a random friendly dude but to me, she is actually what makes my experience in Korea valuable. I haven’t liked a girl for a loooong time. Not since high school. So she’s kind means a lot to me. I get really uncomfortable when I don’t know when I can see her next, I get upset if I can’t see her for the upcoming week.
Well anyway, she told me she’s wants to leave Korea in June to have some overseas experience.
This is really pathetic I know but if she leaves, I don’t want to stay in Korea anymore. A big reason I told work I was going to extend my contract for at least 3 months was because of her. I thought if, maybe if there were any chance of me and her being in a relationship, I would like to stay in Korea for as long as I can. It’s the reason why I even considered studying in Seoul. I am even considering going on a working holiday with her. Stupid right??
She seems pretty set in leaving Korea when she can. I really don’t want to stop her from leaving, nor am I an important enough figure in her life to even have a say in it. I did try to convince her to consider going to Australia because that’s where I’m likely to go after Korea. But nope. She’s dead set that she doesn’t want to go to Australia.
It might be a reality check for me. I admittedly have been putting off some of the long term goals I have set myself in the odd chance I may call her my own, when deep down I know her and I just won’t work out.
I hate myself for being so attached to a person. Ughh. It so gross.
So yea.. Can’t sleep..